An Open Letter To My Relatives

Hey all -

Anyone who was at Titi Jenny’s 60th birthday, who happened to look (and laugh) at the photo of me wearing white shoes and glasses…

This one is for you.

I need a photo, and I can’t find any depicting the years that I need.

I have a feeling I avoided taking many pictures during this time period because I was mortified by myself.

But, anyway – This is your lucky day for laughs because I need to refer to those traumatizing years…

I’m asking for you to dig up your worst. I need it for my website – For a little blog I am writing about zits.

If anyone has any photos of me age 9-13 with acne and oversized glasses – I really need you to scan and send.

Thanks!

xoxo,
J

That email was sent at least 3 weeks ago. At least. Can you believe that NOT A SINGLE PERSON sent me a photo? I mean…HELLO…FAMILY…IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME YOU COULD AT LEAST HELP A GIRL OUT.

UGH. Whatever.

I managed to dig this one up on my own:

Confession: When I was 10 I had acne so bad, that kids at school would call me pepperoni pizza face.

Those were not kind years. Not only because of the acne, but also because of the ridiculously large glasses my parents forced me to wear.

This picture isn’t even the worst. I’m not wearing the glasses and you can’t really see my horrific skin because the photo is blurry. But, at least I look like I have a black eye (WTF?), and I’m wearing unfortunate looking clothes (Um…Sleeveless Flannel Shirt = FASHION VICTIM) Yeah…I’m pretty sure that photo was taken on one of my better days.

Anyway…

I realize we all have our awkward stages – Unfortunately, my awkward stage would last almost 4 years.

On the positive side, I woke up one day around 13 or 14 and my skin was completely clear. After years of being tormented, and after trying dozens of products that didn’t make even the slightest bit of difference- The acne that had been such a pain in my ass for so long – Suddenly had vanished.

Fast forward to the present: My skin is great. I hardly ever get a pimple, and although I’m only 26 years old…It seems as though I’ll be aging fairly well (Thanks mom and dad!).

However, every now and then…There’s an upset. These upsets are rare, so I don’t particularly mind especially since I’m always prepared to cut things off at the pass. There are very few upsets that my magic pimple cream can not fix. *NOTE: If you don’t have this, you should ask your Derma to prescribe it for you for emergency situations*

And then – maybe just once a year – There is more than an upset. Instead, there is a DISASTER on my face, and that disaster always leads to a personal crisis because it makes me feel like I’m 10 years old all over again kicking up all sorts of emotions that I really could do without (!!!). *sigh*

I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS:

It’s been there for a week – It is completely unresponsive to any method of treatment – INCLUDING my magic pimple cream. And every time I think it’s going away it resurfaces.

The only thing I can think to do, is to kett fixx it.

Thank God for Kett Fix!

Look:

Whew. That’s much better.

The after picture was taken outside, in natural light – which is typically the most unforgiving as it shows EVERYTHING. That means the Kett Fix is doing it’s job and covering things up quite nicely.

The zit may remain, but at least it’s hidden until I can figure out how to fight a good fight against it.

Suggestions? Anyone!? PLEASE. HELP. NOW.