My doctor recently suggested I cut back on my caffeine intake. I guess showing up at her office with a large coffee, whilst complaining about not sleeping very well, tipped her off that maybe I should drink less. Something about my ADD and caffeine and being hyper and stuff. Whatever. She’s totally right, but I love my morning coffee!

Since then, I have switched to half regular/half decaf…Only, I drink twice as much now, which basically makes my effort completely pathetic.

A few weeks ago, I was super excited when I read a beauty book that mentioned that caffeinated creams were the ‘thing’ right now. I’ll try anything once…Especially if it’s going to keep me looking young, or give me soft skin, or in general make me look like a hot piece of ass.

One of the stand out tips in the book was that the celebs (Hi Tyra) are exfoliating with coffee grinds. Supposedly doing this keeps your skin firm and prevents cellulite. I like firm skin and I hate cellulite so this seemed like a beauty tip from God.

Nothing fancy here – You can use whatever coffee is on sale, making it even more appealing because its affordable (and also natural).

So, I started mixing my half regular coffee with half decaf and took the other half of the caffeinated grinds and put them in a little jar to keep in the shower.

I’ve been slathering myself up with coffee grinds 2-3 times a week for almost 3 weeks now. I love it. My skin feels great and I swear I feel more awake in the morning, but that could be (and totally is) entirely mental.

I don’t usually exfoliate at night, but I just got in from a run, and I’m feeling thin after sweating out these killer margaritas that I had last night…And, I figure it’s as good a time as any to firm up. I open the jar…And then there’s this…

MOLD. Some kind of fungus of some sort.

Um, the beauty book didn’t say anything about mold. In fact it didn’t give any tips on how to package the grinds – So, maybe this is my own fault for taking liberties with storage. But, every other beauty product comes in a jar or a bottle or a tube. Even coffee comes in a tin can. WTF!?

Not to knock the book, or the writers of said book (which I will not mention because obviously it isn’t very clear)…But, if I were writing a book full of beauty tips I would make it a point to be thorough. And, not only that…But, I’d make it a point to test every single thing before I wrote about it and tried to sell it to the masses.

I’m upset now. What a lame tip.

Anyone with thoughts about storage? Am I overlooking something? The grinds were dry!!! How could they get moldy???